It’s time to fall in or be left behind, devil dog! Suffice to say, you are looking to get muscled up and feel like a man. This is no small feat when you’re weak and make sissy excuses all the time. If you want to look manly, you need to think manly, act manly and BE manly for crying out loud!
To get you set off in the right direction, here is a sweet little circuit workout for you to build muscle and turn some heads. As an added bonus, you might even impress some wookies. But be careful – you don’t want them showing you up and making you feel like a nonhacker. Now let’s get to it. Tennnnnnn hut!
1. Clean up your diet!
A circuit workout won’t amount to a hill of beans if you don’t honor your diet. Especially when the goal is to build muscle and burn fat. And unless you’re a miscreant, that should be your goal.
Follow a balanced plan that contains quality protein, complex carbs and healthy fats. Don’t be shy with the calories, just avoid all the toxic chow like processed baked goods, alcohol, white flour products and sweet drinks.
Filling up on this fare will make building muscle a lot easier comrade. Be sure to include foods like broccoli, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, eggs and salmon in your diet too. All of these foods contribute to testosterone boosting.
2. Perform the following exercises.
Here’s a list of exercises for you to perform with detailed instructions. Remember, don’t be a sissy-face! If you use proper form and be honest with yourself, you will have no trouble building muscle. Otherwise, you’ll look like a John Wayne and probably be the center of ridicule.
This routine is going to require some equipment, just to let you know ahead of time. It’s designed to work as many muscle groups as possible, which is to ensure you get more bang for your buck.
Alternating Single-leg Push-ups.
Come into a front-leaning rest position (plank) with your hands directly under your shoulders and form a straight line from the back of your head to your heels.
Raise your left foot off the floor and move your leg out to your side as you bend your elbows and lower yourself down. Stop when your chin touches the floor, rise back up and place your foot down.
Lift your right leg, move it out to your side and repeat the move. Continue to alternate back and forth until you’ve done 10 to 12 reps total. That would be 5 or 6 with each leg extended out.
Make sure to keep your arms in close to your sides throughout your push-ups.
Dumbbell Squat Presses
Grab a set of moderately heavy dumbbells and stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart. Hold the weights up by your chest with a hammer grip and your palms facing each other.
Bend your knees and push your butt back to lower yourself down. Stop when your thighs are parallel to the floor. Stand up in a fluid, but not fast motion, and press the dumbbells overhead. Move them toward each other and turn your wrists so your palms face forward.
Hold for a second, lower them back to the starting position and repeat 10 to 12 times.
Medicine Ball Russian Twist Pullover Crunches
Sit on the floor while holding a medicine ball and lean backward so your back is about 45 degrees to the ground. Bend your knees, place your heels down and hold the ball outside your right hip.
Twist the ball across the front of your body to your left side, then sprawl backwards as you extend your legs out straight and the ball behind your head. Your arms and legs should be hovering right above the floor at this point.
Sit back up to the starting position as you pull the ball over your head. Perform another Russian twist to each side and lower yourself back down. Repeat the whole move 10 times.
For a more challenging variation, keep your heels off the floor the entire time. Just be careful not to round your back.
Kettlebell Renegade Rows
Place two heavy kettlebells slightly less than shoulder-width apart on the floor with the handles parallel to each other. Grasp the handles and come into a front-leaning rest position with your feet spaced wider than shoulder-width.
Keep tension in your abs as you pull the kettlebell in your right hand up by your side. Hold for a second, slowly lower it back down and repeat on the other side. Continue to alternate back and forth until you’ve done 10 reps on each side.
Do not let your hips rise or fall throughout the exercise and focus hard on maintaining a rigid torso.
Dips with Leg Raises
You will need a set of dipping bars for this exercise. Stand on the supports and grip the bars firmly with both hands. Lift yourself up by pressing down with your hands and hold yourself in the air with your arms fully extended.
Bend your elbows to lower yourself down and lean forward slightly. Stop when your upper arms are parallel to the floor and push back up. As you rise, move your legs forward and lift them until they are parallel to the floor.
Move them back down to get into your starting position and repeat 8 to 10 times.
Do not let your elbows flare out when doing this exercise.
Alternating Grip Pull-ups
No circuit workout to build muscle would be complete without pull-ups. This variation places a little more emphasis on your biceps.
Reach up and grasp a pull-up bar with an over/under grip. Your hands should be about a foot apart. Keep your abs tight and body rigid as you pull yourself up. Stop when your chin clears the bar and hold for a split second.
Lower yourself down until your arms are fully extended and repeat. Perform 4 or 5 reps, then drop down and hop back up with your hands in the other position. Repeat for 4 or 5 more reps.
Side Dip Knee to Elbow Crunch
Come onto your side with your legs stacked, feet on top of each other and forearm on the ground perpendicular to your body. Place your other hand on the side of your head and raise your body up until it’s perfectly straight.
Lower yourself down slightly by bending at the hips and raise yourself back up. As soon as you rise, lift your top leg and move your knee to your elbow. Move your leg back out, straighten your body and repeat. Do a set of 10 reps and switch sides.
Sandbag Circular Swing
You will need a sandbag that is moderately heavy to do this drill. Grasp it by the handles that are parallel to each other and stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart. The bag should be hanging straight down in front of you at this point and pressed against your legs.
Bend down slightly by hinging your hips and push your butt backward. Sway the bag to your left side, then forcefully swing it to your right. Keep the momentum going and swing it over your head in the shape of a full circle.
Fully extend your arms and legs as you do this. Let the bag come to a stop on your right side, then reverse your direction and repeat the other way. Continue to alternate back and forth until you’ve done 10 to 12 reps total.
3. Execute an interval sprint routine.
Doing intervals will boost your testosterone and growth hormone levels, and create an internal environment more conducive to building muscle.
Be aware that this will take some effort and you might be FUBAR when it’s done. But it WILL be worth the effort. So slip on your go-fasters and report for duty!
Start with a light 5-minute jog to warm up. Now hit the gas and run as hard as you can for 30 seconds. Come to a slow jog for 60 seconds and hammer it again for 30 seconds. Alternate back and forth 15 times and do a light 5-minute cooldown jog.
If you feel like turning up the effort one more notch, do your sprints up a hill.
4. Put all the pieces together.
Hopefully, you’re not a rock and you will understand the directions for the entire workout. Perform the weight training part three days a week on alternate days and do the interval portion on three other alternate days.
Execute the circuit exercises in the order they appear and rest for no more than 60 seconds between each one. Ideally, your rest breaks are shorter. Repeat the circuit four times and then do it one final time with no rest between exercises. Remember, this ain’t for sissies!
5. Don’t forget about sleep.
Pulverizing your body in workouts will only get you so far. You also need adequate recovery time through the medium of sleep. Aim for 7 to 8 hours every night. It is also during sleep that your body releases testosterone and growth hormone, to further build muscle and recharge your system.
Now that you know what to do, take off the moon boots and cammies, and get to work. The weights won’t lift themselves and the muscle won’t build on its own. Go out there and get it! If you follow this program for a mere four weeks, you will be dialed in and dolled up, ready to impress the boot lewys in no time. Ooh rah!